Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Light and Shadow

Love is a gift from God.  It is God's joy to love us.  I accept all the love joyfully and gratefully.

(Shame is a lie of the devil.)

Some men are inclined to perform a sexual act referred to as bukaki.  A quick and dirty google search spells out the historical origins of this word:
In feudal Japan, many moons ago. If a japanese wife was unfaithful to her husband and this was discovered, she would be tied to a post in the centre of the village and all the local men would masturbate over the woman. This was the accepted punishment for infidelity.
I suspect this practice is seeping into the mainstream due to its popularity in porn.  Even disconnected to the origins of this behavior, the intention to shame and humiliate cums through.

What does this tell us about men and women?  
What is the origin of all this shame?  
How do we free ourselves from this self-imposed prison of shame?
Do women who have sex with men other than their husbands deserve to be shamed?  
What is the rationale behind this ancient idea?  

When a wife has sex with a man other than her husband, she incurs his wrath.  This may not be because he loves her and is hurt, but because he is humiliated among the other men.  Therefore, his response is to humiliate her - due to his selfish arrogance with deep underlying insecurities (for very good reasons, I'm sure).  He conscripts the other men to aid in the humiliation.  Vengeance.  An eye for an eye until we are all blind.

When you love someone - you want the best for them, you want them to be happy.

When you love yourself - you are hurt but forgiving of self and others.

I had a professor in undergrad who did his dissertation on family life in the Old Testament.  Apparently, it was only illegal for a woman to have sex with a man other than her husband but not for a man to have sex with a woman other than his wife.  The "practical" reason for this was that a man's wife was considered chattel (property).  Stealing a man's property - cattle, wife, etc. - was punishable by death.

Values and beliefs die hard.  So are women still viewed and therefore treated as property?

It is commonly known that many of the women in porn have abuse histories and therefore vulnerable to repeat exploitation.  Being subject to abuse makes us think there is something wrong with us (shame) and therefore deserving of being treated shamefully (vulnerable).

We all matter.  We all deserve to be seen, understood, loved and cherished.  This is our birthright, whether or not it was acknowledged by the adults in charge around us at the time.

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