More Reevah-isms

When a mother doesn’t own her own aggression, it is because she is afraid of her anger – she is afraid of becoming out of control as a result of her anger.  This out-of-control expression of anger was probably modeled in her family of origin.  She decided to go the other way - way over to the opposite side.

Parents are afraid of their own anger or their child’s anger or their spouse’s anger because anger means being or becoming out of control.

Anger is a healthy and important expression when communicated properly.  Think about how you feel when someone you care about is angry at you.  It is unpleasant enough to motivate us to change.  If someone you care about hurts you, it is okay to be angry - the feeling is not the behavior.  How you choose to express the feeling in words is your choice.  It does not have to be out of control and scary or hurtful.