Friday, August 17, 2018

My high school senior.

When she was born and breastfeeding every two hours, 24-7, and I couldn’t shower or read the Sunday paper anymore, I’d ask aloud, “when is she going off to college?” 

Now the time is coming and I’m crying in anticipation. 

Driving her to or from school, I hold her hand because I will miss doing this next year. 

This is the year I teach her everything I can before she takes flight. 

It is my job to take her to the mountain top and let her fly. 

Next year, God-willing, she will fly away to a college on the other side of the country. I look forward to watching her do what she came here to do. 

I am proud of the person that God sent me to raise.

Friday, August 3, 2018

Even Jesus Got Hangry

I love that Jesus was human. It makes him relatable. And a real role model. 
An old friend once told me that he tried to be like Jesus but found he couldn't. 
When I read this passage about Jesus in a clear state of hangriness, I felt validation, self-acceptance, relief, and no excuse not to be like him - because he was supremely human. 
From Matthew 21:18-22 (NIV):                   
18Early in the morning, as he was on his way back to the city, he was hungry 
19 Seeing a fig tree by the road, he went up to it but found nothing on it except leaves. Then he said to it. “May you never bear fruit again!” Immediately the tree withered             
20When the disciples saw this, they were amazed. “How did the fig tree wither so quickly?” they asked.             
21Jesus replied, “I tell you the truth, if you have faith and do not doubt, not only can you do what was done to the fig tree, but also you can say to this mountain, ‘Go throw yourself into the sea,’ and it will be done.  
22If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer.
He was hungry. He made the fig tree wither for not bearing fruit. I've been there. 
My daughter has a therapist who understands my daughter's plethora of feelings - big and small. My girl told her therapist about an incident in which I got hangry with her (yelling at her through the streets of downtown). I contend there was a context for this (including my daughter's incalcitrant behavior). Alas, if this is the worst story she can come up with to tell her therapist about me in her lifetime - I'll take it! 

I also note (and love because I relate) that his hungriness colors how he expresses himself. He had previously told his disciples about their potential mountain moving powers:
From Matthew 17:19-20 (NIV): 
19Then the disciples came to Jesus in private and asked, “Why couldn’t we drive it out?” [They are wondering why they were not successful in their attempt to drive out a demon in a boy since Jesus had already given them authority to do so in Matthew 10:1 ] 
20He replied, “Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.”
Not only is Jesus hungry, but he has already said this to them before! The first time he said they can move the mountain from here to there. The second (and hungry) time, he says they can tell the mountain to go throw yourself into the sea! My daughter says this must be an old timey way of saying, "Go f--- yourself!"

Over and over again, Jesus teaches, preaches, and heals. Ample evidence to inspire faith, hope, and love. When are we all gonna believe already?

Tuesday, July 31, 2018

Growing Up is Sexy

Maturity is
sexy
and powerful.

Complaining, blaming, and walking around as if you are a victim is not attractive, unless you are trying to attract a surrogate-parent. Grown-ups don't need (or wanna have sex with) surrogate-parents.
All blame is a waste of time. No matter how much fault you find with another, and regardless of how much you blame them, it will not change you. -Wayne Dyer
Grown-ups want to date, play, and work with other grown-ups.

At any age, maturity means taking 100% responsibility for your life.
"...There is only one person responsible for the quality of the life you live...If you want to be successful, you have to take 100% responsibility for everything that you experience in your life. This includes the level of your achievements, the results you produce, the quality of your relationships, the state of your health and physical fitness, your income, your debts, your feelings - everything!" -Jack Canfield
Ninety-nine percent of all failures come from people who have a habit of making excuses. -George Washington Carver 
Are you willing to give up all your excuses?
"...you have always had the power to make it different, get it right, to produce the desired result...You have control over only three things in your life - the thoughts you think, the images you visualize, and the actions you take (your behavior)...You either create or allow everything that happens to you." -Jack Canfield



Sunday, July 29, 2018

Journeying

When I left my job to start the PhD program at UCLA, one of my co-workers said to me, "many are called but few are chosen." To me, her words and the wistful look in her eyes implied that she too had dreams of going back to school. My concern with her remark is the idea that you could hear the call and not be chosen. I don't believe that the Universe puts a desire in our heart to mock us. I believe we are all called and it is our decision to muster the courage to start the quest, to dare our hero's journey or to refuse.

The only thing that gets in the way of what we are meant to do is our own fear. Indeed the point of the journey is to overcome our deepest fear. Nothing and no one can stop us, even though they try - like crabs in a bucket who don't know how to get out but try to figure out how to pull you down.

The road is not easy - be prepared for the requisite tests, ordeals, and enemies. Know that there will also be mentors, allies, and rewards. And of course, the climax and resolution of Act III, with a renewed sense of who you really are.


Note (8/3/18): I read the whole story about "many are called but few are chosen." It's from a parable about a wedding feast prepared by a king. The king sends servants to invite the guests but the invited refuse to come. Then the king sends servants to street corners to invite anyone they can find. Now the wedding hall is filled with guests. The king notices a man who was not wearing wedding clothes and throws him out. Jesus ends this parable saying, "For many are invited, but few are chosen." My take on this story (and my strength is not in understanding parables, poetry, or dreams) is that many are invited, but we decide if and how we show up. We can refuse the call by not showing up physically, mentally, emotionally, or spiritually. Then we can't say it is elitism or velvet rope exclusion at play. It is us and it is our call.

Saturday, July 21, 2018

Lyrics to Hey Jude

Hey Jude
The Beatles

Hey Jude, don't make it bad
Take a sad song and make it better
Remember to let her into your heart
Then you can start to make it better

Hey Jude, don't be afraid
You were made to go out and get her
The minute you let her under your skin
Then you begin to make it better
And anytime you feel the pain, hey Jude, refrain
Don't carry the world upon your shoulders
For well you know that it's a fool who plays it cool
By making his world a little colder
Nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah

Hey Jude, don't let me down
You have found her, now go and get her
Remember to let her into your heart
Then you can start to make it better
So let it out and let it in, hey Jude, begin
You're waiting for someone to perform with
And don't you know that it's just you, hey Jude, you'll do
The movement you need is on your shoulder

Nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah yeah
Nah nah nah nah nah nah, nah nah nah, hey Jude
Nah nah nah nah nah nah, nah nah nah, hey Jude
Nah nah nah nah nah nah, nah nah nah, hey Jude
Nah nah nah nah nah nah, nah nah nah, hey Jude
Nah nah nah nah nah nah, nah nah nah, hey Jude
Nah nah nah nah nah nah, nah nah nah, hey Jude
Nah nah nah nah nah nah, nah nah nah, hey Jude
Nah nah nah nah nah nah, nah nah nah, hey Jude
Nah nah nah nah nah nah, nah nah nah, hey Jude
Nah nah nah nah nah nah, nah nah nah, hey Jude
Nah nah nah nah nah nah, nah nah nah, hey Jude
Nah nah nah nah nah nah, nah nah nah, hey Jude
Nah nah nah nah nah nah, nah nah nah, hey Jude
Nah nah nah nah nah nah, nah nah nah, hey Jude
Nah nah nah nah nah nah, nah nah nah, hey Jude
Nah nah nah nah nah nah, nah nah nah, hey Jude

Songwriters: John Lennon / Paul McCartney 
Hey Jude lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC


Just because it needs to be said and remembered. And sang. Like really loud with lots of others. 


Love like that

Even
After
All this time
The Sun never says to the Earth,
"You owe me."

Look
What happens
With a love like that,
It lights the whole sky.

From Daniel Ladinsky, The Gift: Poems by Hafiz (1999), p. 34.

My high school senior. When she was born and breastfeeding every two hours, 24-7, and I couldn’t shower or read the Sunday paper anymor...