Monday, July 30, 2012

Rules for Self-Care (vs. Co-dependency)

In order to be a healthy person, in order to be who we are - to embrace our God-given personal power and protect our human, mental, emotional, physical and spiritual rights, we may need to replace "rules" that keep us co-dependent (to our partner, family, job or friends) and practice new rules for self-care:

  • It's okay to feel my feelings and talk about them when it's safe and appropriate, and I want to.
  • I can think, make good decisions, and figure things out.
  • I can have, talk about, and solve my problems.
  • It's okay for me to be who I am.
  • I can make mistakes, be imperfect, sometimes be weak, sometimes be not so good, sometimes be better, and occasionally be great.
  • It's okay to be selfish sometimes, put myself first sometimes, and say what I want and need.
  • It's okay to give to others, but it's okay to keep some for myself too.
  • It's okay for me to take care of me.  I can say no and set boundaries.
  • It's okay to have fun, be silly sometimes, and enjoy life.
  • I can make good decisions about who I trust.  I can trust myself.  I can trust God, even when it looks like I can't.
  • I can be appropriately vulnerable.
  • I can be direct and honest.
  • It's okay for me to be close to some people.
  • I can grow and change, even if that means rocking a bunch of boats.
  • I can grow at my own pace.
  • I can love and be loved.  And I can love me, because I am lovable.  And I'm good enough.

from Beyond Co-dependency: and getting better all the time by Melody Beattie

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Check out: Kataoka, S., Vona, P., Acuna, A. , Jaycox, L., Escudero, P., Rojas, C., Ramirez, E., Langley, A., & Stein, B.D. (in press) ...