Sunday, July 22, 2012

About Relationships

“We’re all seeking that special person who is right for us.

But if you’ve been through enough relationships, you begin to suspect there’s no right person, just different flavors of wrong.

Why is this? Because you yourself are wrong in some way, and you seek out partners who are wrong in some complementary way.

But it takes a lot of living to grow fully into your own wrongness.

And it isn’t until you finally run up against your deepest demons, your unsolvable problems—the ones that make you truly who you are—that we’re ready to find a lifelong mate.

Only then do you finally know what you’re looking for.

You’re looking for the wrong person.

But not just any wrong person: the right wrong person—someone you lovingly gaze upon and think, 'This is the problem I want to have.'”

 -- Galway Kinnell


  1. Hmmm, interesting. I get that this person is asking us to acknowledge all of our "wrong" (flaws, hang-ups etc) but the wording itself turns me off. I don't want to look for "wrong", nor do I want to call myself "wrong".


    Looking for the nomatterwhatness-loving partners

    1. I had the same reaction when I first read this! I had an aversion to "wrong." But at 43, I've softened (not lowered) my expectations about relationships. There is no "perfect" person for me - I'm lucky to find a "pretty good fit." It also connotes that we enter a relationship, not wide-eyed and naive only to be sadly disillusioned, but wise to the fact that it will be work and hopefully the juice and spark will carry us through the working out of inevitable conflicts, differences and problems.


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