They Man Up & Come Clean

I love comedians. They are ruthless with the truth, which feels so good it makes us wanna pee in our pants.

With recent news stories about sexual harassment, I was relieved to read Louis CK's response to his allegations in the NY Times.

"These stories are true," he said.

No victim-blaming or shaming, no denials or recriminations, no revisionist Holocaust denial malevolence. No flipping the script with distortions.

"...I wielded that power irresponsibly. I have been remorseful of my actions. And I’ve tried to learn from them...I wish I had reacted to their admiration of me by being a good example to them as a man and given them some guidance as a comedian, including because I admired their work."

"I also took advantage of the fact that I was widely admired in my and their community, which disabled them from sharing their story and brought hardship to them when they tried because people who look up to me didn’t want to hear it. I didn’t think that I was doing any of that because my position allowed me not to think about it."

In his statement, I read that he credits power and privilege for the conditions that allowed harassment to occur unchecked. I also see his expressed self-awareness, taking responsibility, and empathy, which is grown-up stuff and worthy of NY Times space.

Then my man, Chris Rock, comes out and tells it on the mountain (on stage in his Netflix special).

“I was addicted to porn.” 

Boom. Raw & real. Humbly without shame - just the honest to goodness truth. Referring to his divorce, he said:

“It’s my fault, because I’m a f—ing asshole...I didn’t listen. I wasn’t kind. I had an attitude, I thought, ‘I pay for everything, I can do what I want.’ That s— don’t f—ing work. I just thought I was the s—.”

Again power and money is credited for the justification to behave badly. Real, perceived or fantasized power can make one think that one matters more than others - that personal needs, wants and desires trump those of others, regardless of the cost. This ride only lasts until those taken advantage of speak up and walk out. Chris also expresses self-awareness, personal responsibility, and empathy. It's bold because he doesn't have to say this - and yet he does. It's like he is saving his own soul.

At the end of the game, the cheese stands alone in the middle of the circle.
This moment of self-reflection may be an opportunity for transformation.
"Love the truth and so be saved."