Disclose & Confide

When given the opportunity, people readily divulge their deepest and darkest secrets (Pennebaker, 1989). 

Self-disclosure of upsetting experiences serves as a basic human motive…most people naturally discuss daily and significant experiences with others…talking about a trauma with others can strengthen social bonds, provide coping information and emotional support, and hasten an understanding of the event (Pennebaker, 1989).

Less socially acceptable traumas, however, can be far more difficult to confide: marital infidelity, embezzlement, being the perpetrator or victim of rape…the inability to talk with others can be unhealthy for a number of reasons…not confiding any type of traumatic event is associated with illness episodes and measures of subjective distress…there is a beneficial role in talking about traumatic experiences and, conversely, there is danger in not confiding (Pennebaker, 1989).

When individuals are required to confront traumatic experiences (by talking or writing about traumas), significant changes occur within the body...These effects are most pronounced for high disclosers – individuals who disclose extremely personal topics that they previously have actively held back from telling others (Pennebaker, 1989).

Failing to confront traumas can be physically harmful, whereas talking or writing about them can be helpful (Pennebaker, 1989).

If there is a story inside you that you have not dared to tell a soul, there is good reason to write about it. Include the facts surrounding the event and your associated emotions - both the positive and negative emotions. Write several drafts until it makes sense to you and the story has a beginning, middle, and end with details.  

Write about your anger from a self-reflective perspective. That is, explore why you are so upset, why the offending person touched such a raw nerve. The awareness and understanding of the emotion decreases its intensity (Pennebaker, 1989).

Reactions from participants in a study examining the impact of journaling about traumatic events (Pennebaker, 1989):

"Now that the experiment is completed, could you tell us how it may have influenced you in the long run?"
"It made me think things out and really realize what my problem is."
"It helped me look at myself from the outside."
"It was a chance to sort out my thoughts." 

Pennebaker, J.W. (1989). Confession, Inhibition and Disease. Advances in Experimental Social Psychology, 22, 211-244