We don't gotta pay for the consequences of someone else's choices - it is not our role, it is not our responsibility.
Duh, right? But we need the constant reminder - like a mantra, affirmation or prayer - because the urge to rescue is so strong. The pain of seeing a loved one in pain seems intolerable.
Sometimes the important lessons are only learned through pain.
If there ain't no shit, the grass don't grow.
I don't wanna stand between someone's lesson and growth. I don't wanna interfere with cause and effect. The lesson to be learned is way too important. It's the difference between staying in the cocoon and flying.
There is a role for us - listening, bearing witness, empathizing, understanding, acknowledging. That is caring with respect. To a person in pain, it makes all the difference.