Monday, December 9, 2013

Exercise in Trust

When I am stressed about something - BIG or small, I hear God asking, "Do you trust me?"
And I'm like, "Duh, God, of course I trust you.  I just don't wanna fuck this up for us."
Because me and God are like that.

I'm walking into a daylong interview on Tuesday and I'm feeling it, all of it: excited and numb, hopeful and wary, confident and unsure.

I'll do my best, whatever that means in the 5th year of my doctoral program.  But the rest is completely outta my control. 

1) On the one hand, the pressure is off because I can only do what I am capable of right now
2) On the other hand, I have NO CONTROL OVER THE OUTCOME (!!!!!).

Doing my best and then letting it go.
Showing up and then going with the flow.
Trusting and losing control.

This is my dance with God.
This is my exercise in Trust.

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