Monday, January 14, 2013

Adult Children

Some of us were not expected to or given the opportunity to grow up.

As an adult, we now have a choice to grow up.  Growing up can be hard work and responding in child-like ways may seem easier.

The results of doing the hard work of growing up are more freedoms, opportunities and self-respect.

The results of remaining child-like in our thinking or behavior may result in less freedom, less opportunities and less self-respect.

I have an elder mentor who has struggled with PTSD, depression and anxiety for most of his life.  He has depended on his partner, financially and emotionally, for over 30 years.  He tells me that before he dies, he wants to live like an adult.

Another mentor, Reevah Simon, says that some of us refuse to be born - it is much easier to stay in a fetus-like state.  That is, one in which we get our needs met without doing much - freedoms without responsibility.

Adult children tend to...
  • be immature and emotionally vulnerable
  • prefer to have a parent figure look after them
  • be physically an adult but mentally/emotionally a child
  • whine, complain, and think everything is unfair
  • be unable to have healthy relationships with romantic partners due to immature behavior, but are in desperate need of someone
  • complain about the rules and/or show too much emotion (crying) at work
  • need constant reassurance
  • need to be supported financially and emotionally
We have a right to live as an adult before we die.  The rewards are worth the very scary effort.

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