“The more satisfying their experience of growing up has
been, the more likely are people to choose a partner who provides them with a
sense of continuity of that experience.
Whatever the nature of the early family life, everyone has a profound
need to maintain a sense of identity developed in the early year; invariably,
there are close links between the old family and the new mate” (p. 222).
“Clinicians also become much more aware of the family. Some therapist discovered the family
system by being bruised by it…working with an individual and being totally
defeated by the family’s power over the patient…”
“The major problem we see in the individual approaches is
that it fails to take account of the powerful interdependence between family
members…it is very difficult for individuals to change, maintain that change,
if the family does not change too…it doesn’t matter who has the presenting
problem or what the problem is – whether it’s a child who wets the bed, an
alcoholic husband, a couple considering divorce, a wife who is depressed, a
runaway adolescent, or a capable student who is failing in school. The ‘symptom’ is merely a front for the
family’s larger stress (p. 271).”
“Ideally, we would like to start with the larger system we
are able to assemble…we want to relate to the most global system first, then
move on to the smaller subsystems…we may work for some time with the couple…we
can then work with individuals…individual therapy should be like the Ph.D. –
the last stage in the training (p.273).”
From "The Family Crucible"
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