"Even when therapists recognize the ineffectiveness of their interventions and want to change them by increasing their intensity, they may at times be handicapped by rules of courtesy. Therapists, like their clients, have been trained since childhood in the appropriate response to people: respect and acceptance of their idiosyncrasies. Besides, therapists and family members belong to the same culture. They respond to the implicit rules of how to behave in situations in which people transact with other people. Therefore, when family members show in a session that they have reached the limit of what is emotionally acceptable and signal that it would be appropriate to lower the level of affective intensity, the therapist must learn to be able not to respond to that request, despite a lifetime of training in the opposite direction."
Minuchin, S. & Fishman, H.C. (1981). Family Therapy Techniques. Harvard University Press. Cambridge, MA, p. 117-118.
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