Helping Others Be Incompetent/Competent

In a family therapy session, Minuchin is talking to a 19 year old son about his relationship with his helpful father.  Minuchin challenges the idea that helping is helpful.  The 19 year old son had been in an inpatient psychiatric center for 6 months:

Minuchin (to son):  Well, if you don't help him (father) to change, you will not be able to use your hands.  You will always have ten thumbs - you will always have two left hands - you will always be incompetent because he is doing things for you.  He is paralyzing you.  Talk with him about that, because I think that's very dangerous what your father did just now.

(Father had picked up the lapel microphone wire that was draped over the chair and moved it for son).

Later in the session, after son gets interrupted by family members as he is trying to "help Dad,"  Minuchin offers:

Minuchin (to son):  I am a stranger, you see, and I can't help because I don't know you two.  If you need some help, you can ask someone in the family to come and join you, but if you don't need to, I want you to try first by yourself.