Growing Up

"...we are all in stages of spiritual and emotional immaturity and disrepair. At times, we may feel like a burned out bomb site; sometimes we can see a glimmer of the image of God in us. And sometimes both are apparent...we are to be active participants in our own growth. The solution to our problem is to find our areas of spiritual and emotional immaturity, and to enter into the process of restoring those parts to their renovated condition." John Townsend

• "We are an unfinished people, in need of maturing."
• "...the two main problems of living: the task of growing up, and the obstacles to growing up."
• "But this difficult process [maturing] is paralyzed when - because of past experiences, fears, shame, and pride - we withdraw from the very relationships and truths that would mature us."
• "The safety of the walls we build as children can become a trap in our adult lives, as what was once protection now becomes a prison."
• "For decades, perhaps, these hidden parts have been kept safe from abandonment, ridicule, or annihilation. Yet they have also remained frightened, disconnected, undeveloped, and unloved."
• "Perfection doesn't exclude growth. A gardener who raises perfect roses begins with perfect seeds. Perfection simply means that things are as they should be at a given stage of development."
• "Immaturity, then, only means that a goal has not yet been reached for something."
• "Over time, with proper care, these intense emotions become more manageable and mature."
• "We all have parts of our character that have retreated deep inside the Deep Woods of our hearts. There those parts remain. For decades, perhaps, these hidden parts have been kept safe from abandonment, ridicule, or annihilation. Yet they have also remained frightened, disconnected, undeveloped, and unloved."
• "You know you're attached when you experience loss after someone you love leaves you. Their 'pieces' stay in your heart. The sad feelings are a sign of how deeply the person got inside you. Individuals who can't feel that sadness have an incapacity to be close. That sadness is a mixed blessing."
• "Our ability to attach is our ability to relate our spiritual and emotional needs to others...to relate our needs to others is to connect, or expose ourselves to them. Attachment means letting others inside the private, vulnerable parts of ourselves."
• "Attachment, or bondedness, is our deepest need."