Friday, February 1, 2013

Boundaries

I don't know a helping professional that doesn't struggle with setting limits and boundaries in relationships - personal or professional.  After all, we get paid to do what we do best - take care of others!

There are better ways to help others - ways that don't involve self-neglect, infantilizing others or outright codependence.

Consider some of these "tips" from an unusual source:
  • avoid being "too nice" - that is, giving and giving until we are depleted - know when to pull back
  • be kind and strong
  • know what you want but don't compromise yourself to get it
  • stand up for yourself when anyone steps over the line
  • play fair, don't take advantage
  • presence of mind enables us to wield our power when necessary
  • remain cool under pressure
  • don't be a doormat, don't always say yes, don't revolve your whole world around someone
  • don't obsess over someone else's approval or disapproval
  • a bit of irreverence is necessary to have any self-esteem at all - not irreverence for people, but rather, for what other people think
  • an empowered person derives tremendous strength from the ability to be an independent thinker, particularly in a world that still teaches women how to be self-abnegating
  • have the presence of mind to do what is in your own best interests
Why Men Love Bitches: from Doormat to Dreamgirl - a woman's guide to holding her own in a relationship by Sherry Argov

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