Smiling

We did it. The first year is over!! It was humbling and exhilirating. Every time a kind soul asked about school, it was hard to acknowledge that the program was beating me up. But I made it. Passed all my classes and finished the comprehensive exams. Survived. Learned a lot about research and evaluation and policy and attachment and secondary traumatic stress and...

Cork pops, I cheer, dramatic collapse.

Can't help but smile all the time now. I guess there's always a reason to smile. With all the pressure off, now it seems easier. I want to remember to keep smiling all year.

Cheers to everyone showing up even though the goal seems so out of reach.

I can't seem to locate the reference now, but I remember hearing a long time ago that a study interviewed octogenarians and septuagenarians and one of the questions asked was about regrets. What they said most often was that they wished they had taken more risks.

"Those who persist in threatening situations and master the experience gain efficacy reinforcement, whereas those who choose to avoid threatening situations or cease their activities early reinforce negative efficacy expectations."

I am glad I took the risk. My romanticized notions of going back to school are what motivated me to show up so I am glad I didn't realize beforehand just how hard it would be. The 80 year-old in me is also smiling.