Core Beliefs

Underlying our everyday thoughts and subsequent feelings are a set of core beliefs that we have about ourselves, others and the world. Those core beliefs were formed by our earliest interactions with our first caregivers. Did they come to us when we cried? This tells us we are important to another. Did they soothe us when we cried? This tells us we can depend on someone to help us when we are distressed. Were we protected from harm? This tells us what level of safety we can expect in the world beyond home.

If all goes well enough, then we walk around believing...

I am good, worthwhile and important.
I can trust (most) others.
The world is (mostly) a safe place.

If not, then we may have unwittingly adopted core beliefs that are getting in our way...

I am no good.
I can't trust others.
The world is a dangerous place.

Some of these statements may have been true at one time, then and there, but they are certainly not true all the time. The first statement is a lie and self-blame. Yet because they are beliefs, they keep us stuck, regardless of what is going on in the here and now.

Try repeating the first set of core beliefs to yourself throughout the day and see what happens. Post these statements where you can read them - for instance, on the bathroom mirror, car dashboard, computer screen, refrigerator door and so on. Notice if you behave differently. Does it affect your interactions? choices or decisions? what you say and do? how you treat other people? how you expect to be treated? how others treat you? how you perceive the comments of others? how you perceive the interactions, behaviors or mistakes of others? Notice what happens and if anything changes.

If you try this, let me know what happens.

Intellectual Heroes

When I ran into Dr. Bessel van der Kolk at a trauma conference at UCLA, I could not help but go up to him and say, "I admire your pluck." Check out his book, The Body Keeps the Score or listen to his podcast at nctsn.org. He is not afraid to talk about or research the impact of yoga on healing from trauma. He is not afraid to challenge conventional treatment of trauma. He is controversial but making a difference for the people who come to him for treatment and for providers committed to the best quality of care for trauma treatment.

pluck: gutsiness and the trait of showing courage and determination in spite of possible loss or injury

The Power of Positive Emotions

Abstract:

The broaden-and-build theory describes the form and function of a subset of positive emotions, including joy, interest, contentment and love.

A key proposition is that these positive emotions broaden an individual's momentary thought-action repertoire:

• joy sparks the urge to play,
• interest sparks the urge to explore,
• contentment sparks the urge to savour and integrate, and
• love sparks a recurring cycle of each of these urges within safe, close relationships.

The broadened mindsets arising from these positive emotions are contrasted to the narrowed mindsets sparked by many negative emotions (i.e. specific action tendencies, such as attack or flee).

A second key proposition concerns the consequences of these broadened mindsets: by broadening an individual's momentary thought-action repertoire--whether through play, exploration or similar activities--positive emotions promote discovery of novel and creative actions, ideas and social bonds, which in turn build that individual's personal resources; ranging from physical and intellectual resources, to social and psychological resources.

Importantly, these resources function as reserves that can be drawn on later to improve the odds of successful coping and survival. This chapter reviews the latest empirical evidence supporting the broaden-and-build theory and draws out implications the theory holds for optimizing health and well-being.

The broaden-and-build theory of positive emotions, Barbara L Fredrickson

Focus Groups Capture Vulnerable Voice

"In a community based participatory research context, focus groups are a vehicle to capture the voice of community members, particularly marginalized populations whose cultural norms and realities may not 'fit' with the norms of dominant mainstream society."

Methods in Community-Based Participatory Research for Health
Barbara Israel, editor

Coping with the Emotional Stresses of our Current Economic Times

I see the toll that our economic crisis is taking on adults, families and children. Some messages bear repeating. I wrote this for schools over a year ago. It seems as important to publish this now as it did then.

In this economic climate, there is a potential to feel overwhelmed, powerless, worried, shocked and a loss of control. It is possible to feel by turns, hopeless and hopeful, anxious and confident, angry and resigned, confused and curious. Families overwhelmed by the economic crisis may experience sleeplessness, nightmares, inability to concentrate and a change in appetite. Here are some ideas about how to cope:

Supporting children. Children can be very resilient if they know their parents love them and will care for them. Although it may be painful for parents to hear children talk about their fears or questions, it is helpful to listen and understand. Children usually can tell when there are difficulties at home so not talking to them about it just increases their anxiety. While our instinct may be to "protect" them, leaving them out may lead them to assume things are worse than they are. Children are also learning how to behave in future crises. Whether it is financial loss or any other kinds of losses, they're learning from the behavior of the adults around them.

Reflecting on what is working and has worked for us in the past. Answer the following questions about the ways of coping that have worked for you in the past. With all you’ve been through, how do you manage to get to sleep? What has been helpful to get you through so far? Have you been in this situation before? What did you do to get through it then? What was most helpful to you? How did you know that would be helpful? What else was helpful?

You are not alone – stay connected. One of the best ways to weather this storm is to reach out, communicate and allow yourself to give and receive support from friends, family and resources in your community. Doing so may have a positive effect on both you and your family.

Using strengths. We all have strengths that help us bounce back from adversity. Research shows that some of these strengths include: relationships, humor, inner direction, perceptiveness, independence, positive view of personal future, flexibility, love of learning, self-motivation, competence, self-worth, spirituality, perseverance, and creativity. How can you draw upon your strengths to deal with the challenges you are facing?

Values and Priorities. It may prove inspiring to focus on what is most important to us. We often hear disaster survivors saying things like, “We’re alive and that’s what counts.” It may be helpful to make a list of your positive characteristics, things that matter and for which you feel grateful.

Self-care and well-being. Staying healthy ensures that we maintain the physical and mental capacity necessary to deal with problems and stress. That's why it is important to eat and sleep well and get regular physical exercise. Going for walks as a family can relieve stress and promote family bonding.

Choose your thoughts. While it’s useful to learn from mistakes so as not to repeat them in the future, it’s also clear that self-blame may not be helpful while in the middle of a crisis. “What if” and “If only” thoughts may not be beneficial when events are beyond our control.

Taking a news break. Some amount of anxiety is healthy because it motivates us to do things, but too much anxiety can interfere with our ability to think straight. Don’t saturate yourself with stressful information from the media. Stay informed and take a news break.

Maintain family routines. Keeping family routines gives a family a sense of stability. Examples of these include: eating meals together, reading bedtime stories and maintaining family rules like expecting children to assist with household chores and to do well in school. When children have routines and stability, it gives them the assurance that their family and parents are in control or in charge. If children don't feel secure, they can become anxious and worried, and their school work can suffer. Children are less likely to engage in risky behaviors, such as drug use, when there is a family structure and parents are interested in and involved in their lives.

Relaxation and meditation. We can learn techniques to help us reduce stress. Remember that stress takes a physical toll. Learn meditation and do muscle relaxation. Pay attention to yourself and body.

Choose your outlook. Optimism, a tendency to expect the best, or at least, a good outcome, is contagious and research shows that it is powerful and can be learned. Optimism can: (1) decrease the likelihood of becoming depressed or aid in recovering more quickly; (2) increase the likelihood that we keep trying instead of giving up; (3) become the primary determinant of health as we get older; and (4) impact the way that we explain the good and bad things that happen – an explanatory style that may last for most of our lives and get passed on to our children by what we say to them.

Take advantage of resources. Sometimes people feel it's embarrassing to ask for help. Seeking assistance means you are proactive and makes you feel less passive and isolated.

Themes for Life Stages

Every year of my life seems to take on a theme or mantra.

A few years back it was, "whenever possible, say no" because I was taking on too many opportunities and experiences for learning and growth. It was nearly killing me.

After I turned 40, the theme became integration. That is, bringing together this and that, yes and no, thoughts and feelings, ideas and people, rules and stories, details and the big picture, being with others and being alone, judging and perceiving. Realizing it all matters. Everyone has a point.

This seems to be the year of balance. Finding a place for both studying and dancing in my life - the light and the dark side. This is a really good year. I have never felt more comfortable in my own skin.

Color Psychology

Abstract:

Word associations or verbal synesthesia between concepts of color and emotions were studied in Germany, Mexico, Poland, Russia and the United States.

With emotion words as the between-subjects variable, 661 undergraduates indicated on 6-point scales to what extent anger, envy, fear, and jealousy reminded them of 12 terms of color.

In all nations, the colors of anger were black and red, fear was black, and jealousy was red.

Cross-cultural differences were:
(a) Poles connected anger, envy, and jealousy also with purple
(b) Germans associated envy and jealousy with yellow; and
(c) Americans associated envy with black, green, and red,
(d) but for the Russians it was black, purple, and yellow.

The findings suggest that cross-modal associations originate in universal human experiences and in culture-specific variables, such as language, mythology, and literature.

The Colors of Anger, Envy, Fear, and Jealousy: A Cross-Cultural Study
Ralph B. Hupka, et al
Journal of Cross-Cultural Psychology, Vol. 28, No. 2, March 1997