Core Beliefs

Underlying our everyday thoughts and subsequent feelings are a set of core beliefs that we have about ourselves, others and the world. Those core beliefs were formed by our earliest interactions with our first caregivers. Did they come to us when we cried? This tells us we are important to another. Did they soothe us when we cried? This tells us we can depend on someone to help us when we are distressed. Were we protected from harm? This tells us what level of safety we can expect in the world beyond home.

If all goes well enough, then we walk around believing...

I am good, worthwhile and important.
I can trust (most) others.
The world is (mostly) a safe place.

If not, then we may have unwittingly adopted core beliefs that are getting in our way...

I am no good.
I can't trust others.
The world is a dangerous place.

Some of these statements may have been true at one time, then and there, but they are certainly not true all the time. The first statement is a lie and self-blame. Yet because they are beliefs, they keep us stuck, regardless of what is going on in the here and now.

Try repeating the first set of core beliefs to yourself throughout the day and see what happens. Post these statements where you can read them - for instance, on the bathroom mirror, car dashboard, computer screen, refrigerator door and so on. Notice if you behave differently. Does it affect your interactions? choices or decisions? what you say and do? how you treat other people? how you expect to be treated? how others treat you? how you perceive the comments of others? how you perceive the interactions, behaviors or mistakes of others? Notice what happens and if anything changes.

If you try this, let me know what happens.