Boundaries

I don't know a helping professional that doesn't struggle with setting limits and boundaries in relationships - personal or professional.  After all, we get paid to do what we do best - take care of others!

There are better ways to help others - ways that don't involve self-neglect, infantilizing others or outright codependence.

Consider some of these "tips" from an unusual source:

• avoid being "too nice" - that is, giving and giving until we are depleted - know when to pull back
• be kind and strong
• know what you want but don't compromise yourself to get it
• stand up for yourself when anyone steps over the line
• play fair, don't take advantage
• presence of mind enables us to wield our power when necessary
• remain cool under pressure
• don't be a doormat, don't always say yes, don't revolve your whole world around someone
• don't obsess over someone else's approval or disapproval
• a bit of irreverence is necessary to have any self-esteem at all - not irreverence for people, but rather, for what other people think
• an empowered person derives tremendous strength from the ability to be an independent thinker, particularly in a world that still teaches women how to be self-abnegating
• have the presence of mind to do what is in your own best interests
  

Why Men Love Bitches: from Doormat to Dreamgirl - a woman's guide to holding her own in a relationship by Sherry Argov