Yes and No

The story goes like this:  John Lennon was at an art gallery and had to walk up a ladder and use a magnifying glass in order to read what was written on the small installation: Yes. He began to fall in love with the artist, Yoko Ono, at that moment.  So did I when my husband told me that story.

Yes is a powerful word.  It gets us from where we are to where we want to be.  The Yes begins within. Yet, we are often woefully getting in our own way.

In a preemptive strike, we say no to ourselves before the sting of the rejecting no from others.

The unknown can be exciting and/or it can be very scary - a darkened room full of danger.  What will happen to us?  Will we be able to respond?

Our subversive core beliefs (I am loveable vs. I am unloveable, I am competent vs. I am incompetent) influence our positive or negative prediction of the outcome.  If negative, then we may give up before we try.

Good stuff starts with a yes.  I have had to say yes many times to get to this point - and not always with confidence and enthusiasm, sometimes, full of trepidation.  But standing still was not an option I would consider.

Yes is an important word.  So is No.

No is a hard word for most of us (remember the 70s book:  When I say no, I feel guilty ?).  No brings up a lot of emotions.  It has hard edges.  Especially when it seems to separate us from people or things we care about.  Yet, no sets an important boundary.

As much as we would like to, we can't say yes to everything.  Prioritizing can feel like Sophie's Choice - how can I possibly pick only one?

My mom would often tell me, let your yes be yes and your no be no - be clear with self and others.  And yet, my clinical supervisor would say that we feel ambivalent about everything - yes and no.  Therein lies the tension.

What are you saying yes to right now?  Is that what you really, really, really want?  What would you like to say no to in order to get closer to what you really, really, really want?