Freedom & Friends

I took a course on Stress and Disease last quarter and it scared the s$!# out of me.

I have always known that stress is toxic but it is literally killing many of us through heart disease, high blood pressure, depression and metabolic disease (such as diabetes).  Accumulated stress is especially fatal.

For the last two years I have dangerously juggled family (wife and mother), school, and part-time work. So I recently decided to take a full-leave from work.  It didn't really occur to me that I could financially pull it off.  But anything is possible and the risk on my health was no longer an option.

Juggling so much and stretching thin, I often cut out exercise and socializing with friends to meet all my responsibilities.  Bad call.

Demands - Resources = Stress

When demands exceed our ability to cope, then we become stressed out.  Friends are a resource, a source of support, so cutting out time with friends severely imbalances the stress-demand equation. When demands accumulate, don't voluntarily cut time with your sources of support in order to get things done. (Duh)

Now I am balancing self-care, family, friends and the last major projects of my doctoral program.

There is space to breathe and smile.

There is time to exercise and counteract the more than 20 years of overwork that have taken their toll on my body.

There is time for bedtime reading which my 10-year old daughter still loves (me too).

There is time for friends, old and new.

I don't want more stuff - just more freedom.  A friend of mine said that the people who seem to "have it all" are paying for it with debt.  My many years of reading financial articles, books and Oprah episodes taught me that if you bought it all on debt then you are living a lie.  One financial set-back and it can all be gone.  In the meantime, the debt can weigh on you (like low-grade anxiety) and the quality of your sleep.

So I have decided to re-organize and split the pie up in such a way that reflects my priorities better. Freedom and friends have made the cut.

Smiling more.