M3 Storytelling Campaign Poster: Vincent

"I grew up in a rough neighborhood in North St. Louis, Missouri (near Ferguson) with two parents who did the best they could, but faced extreme hardships. The public schools that I attended had caring teachers, but lacked the resources that my peers and I needed to succeed to the best of our abilities. Although public school could not prepare me for all that was to come in secondary education, college changed my life and afforded me opportunities that most people from my neighborhood will never have access to. I could not have been successful in college or graduate school without the support, guidance, and resources provided by both my M3 Career Mentor and my M3 Peer Mentor. My life will never be average or what it was expected to be. I am setting a new standard. -Vincent Tabb, '18 MPA, CSUN"

Posters are now available. Please contact me about how to order (QuickCopies at CSUN).

M3 Storytelling Campaign Poster: Abel

"I had my first-born when I was 17. I had to provide for my family, so I joined the Navy when I was 18 and did two deployments to the Gulf of Iraq. After five years, I was honorably discharged. It was difficult to transition from the military to civilian life - I dealt with post-traumatic stress, depression, homelessness, and ended up incarcerated. I ended up in places I never thought I'd end up and I thought I'd never make it back from that. But after everything I've been through, after all these years, I went back to school and got my bachelor's degree in psychology. Now, I'm the manager of the residential program where I stayed when I was homeless. I'm working on my master's of social work degree so that I can help others who have been or are going through what I've been through. I made it here, but I didn't do it alone. I couldn't have done it without the support of my family and the guidance of my mentors. -Abel Martin '16 B.A. Psychology, '18 MSW CSUN"

Posters from the Minority Male Mentoring (M3) storytelling campaign are now available. Please see me about how to order at QuickCopies at CSUN.

M3 Storytelling Campaign Poster: Allen

"Growing up in the San Fernando Valley in the 1980s-90s as a young Black male challenged me to make a difference in not only my life-but in the lives of other men of color. Living with a single mother and an older brother, we moved often. Yet the one thing that was stable in my life was school. With my mother's strong faith in God, she always made way. I was the first person in my family to pursue higher education, so I attended four community colleges and worked two part-time jobs to fulfill my general education requirements in two years. I then transferred to UC Santa Barbara, double majoring in Psychology and Black Studies. I then earned a MSW degree from USC, later receiving my doctorate in clinical psychology. If it were not for my mentors - who were role models and believed in me - I would not be where I am today. I strongly believe in having visible representation of men of color in higher academic settings. I am passionate about providing psychological and emotional justice for men of color.
 -Allen E. Lipscomb '15 Psy.D. Assistant Professor of Social Work, CSUN"

Posters for the M3 storytelling campaign are now available. Please contact me about how to order at CSUN QuickCopies.

M3 Storytelling Campaign Poster: Jonathan

"As a first-generation college student at UC Irvine, I was placed on academic probation. Not once, but twice. I tried to ignore it, but more than anything, I was ashamed. I never told my parents out of fear of disappointing them, especially my mom. They had so much pride in their son that I did not want to crush their expectations of me. After I found my way and figured out how to successfully navigate the system, I graduated and felt so relieved that I did not let my parents down. But that was not enough. My goal was to pursue a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology. The first and second time I applied, I was flat out rejected. Similar to undergrad, something inside me kept me going despite the obstacles and challenges. But I was never alone  in this quest. The support and guidance from my family and mentors was instrumental to my perseverance. I earned a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology from UCLA in 2013, which was something I could have never imagined while on academic probation. But I made it here, and I belong.
-Jonathan Martinez '13 Ph.D. Assistant Professor of Psychology, CSUN"

Posters from the M3 storytelling campaign are now available. Please contact me about how to order from CSUN QuickCopies.

Social Work Super Powers

Social Workers have many super powers, you realize. Here are two...

1. Empathy

This means truly and deeply understanding and accepting the thoughts and feelings of another. It feels amazing and powerful. When was the last time you experienced empathy - when someone understood and accepted you completely? It makes you feel sane and connected, no matter what story you have to tell.

In the book, Confessions of a Sociopath, by M.E. Thomas, the author notes that most people confuse sex with love but what really feels like love is being understood. When I read this, I thought, that is our super-power as social workers! And like any power, it can be used for good or evil.

Manipulators use empathy to take advantage of their target. Manipulators find it easier to get whatever they ask for from someone who thinks they are understood, accepted, and in love. This game ends when the target taps into their own deep well of self-love. Self-acceptance and self-love trump fake love and empathy from a manipulator.

Social workers practice empathy because it is healing. Sometimes there are no words and empathy is all you've got to give. Fortunately, it's plenty powerful.

2. Exploring Ambivalence 

We feel ambivalent about everything.
We love and hate our parents.
If notified about a $20,000 raise and promotion, we would feel both excited and scared at the same time - What will be expected of me? Can I rise to the challenge? Will I succeed or fail?
The main obstacle standing between us and our biggest dream or deepest desire is our ambivalence. One of my mentors taught me to explore ambivalence in order to release it's grip on goals.
Exploring ambivalence involves asking about and bringing to light all fears, worries, doubts, questions, and concerns. We can address them when we acknowledge them. Facing fears, worries, doubts, questions, and concerns is important if we are to start the journey to our promised land.

Disclose & Confide

When given the opportunity, people readily divulge their deepest and darkest secrets (Pennebaker, 1989). 

Self-disclosure of upsetting experiences serves as a basic human motive…most people naturally discuss daily and significant experiences with others…talking about a trauma with others can strengthen social bonds, provide coping information and emotional support, and hasten an understanding of the event (Pennebaker, 1989).

Less socially acceptable traumas, however, can be far more difficult to confide: marital infidelity, embezzlement, being the perpetrator or victim of rape…the inability to talk with others can be unhealthy for a number of reasons…not confiding any type of traumatic event is associated with illness episodes and measures of subjective distress…there is a beneficial role in talking about traumatic experiences and, conversely, there is danger in not confiding (Pennebaker, 1989).

When individuals are required to confront traumatic experiences (by talking or writing about traumas), significant changes occur within the body...These effects are most pronounced for high disclosers – individuals who disclose extremely personal topics that they previously have actively held back from telling others (Pennebaker, 1989).

Failing to confront traumas can be physically harmful, whereas talking or writing about them can be helpful (Pennebaker, 1989).

If there is a story inside you that you have not dared to tell a soul, there is good reason to write about it. Include the facts surrounding the event and your associated emotions - both the positive and negative emotions. Write several drafts until it makes sense to you and the story has a beginning, middle, and end with details.  

Write about your anger from a self-reflective perspective. That is, explore why you are so upset, why the offending person touched such a raw nerve. The awareness and understanding of the emotion decreases its intensity (Pennebaker, 1989).

Reactions from participants in a study examining the impact of journaling about traumatic events (Pennebaker, 1989):

"Now that the experiment is completed, could you tell us how it may have influenced you in the long run?"
"It made me think things out and really realize what my problem is."
"It helped me look at myself from the outside."
"It was a chance to sort out my thoughts." 

Pennebaker, J.W. (1989). Confession, Inhibition and Disease. Advances in Experimental Social Psychology, 22, 211-244

How to Stop Being a Victim or Hater and Truly Live Out Your Dreams

Chapter 1

It's painful to feel envious or jealous. It makes the baby in us rage inconsolably.

After the requisite crying, grieving, mourning, and wailing at the moon, there's a message and lesson in those emotions. 

Is it that someone else is happy and you are not? 

What will it take to make you happy?

Is it that someone else has something that you want? 

What are you willing to do to achieve it too?

Do you believe that if someone has something or is happy, then that takes something away from you? That there is now somehow less for you? 

What will it take to change your beliefs about scarcity vs. abundance?

Is it that you are frustrated because you don't know how to do it - that is, how to be happy or achieve things that you truly want?

What are you willing to do to learn?

Is it that you believe your track record is full of failures vs. achievement and you don't believe you can do it?

What's it gonna take to change your limiting beliefs?

Is it that you want it all for you and nothing for anyone else?

Are you willing to go through the pain of growing up and learning to share?

Is it enough for you to complain and blame others? Is it satisfying or enough for you that others feel sorry for you?

Would accomplishing what you want feel even better? What would it take to take the first step even if you knew that there would be slip ups, obstacles, and failures along the way?

Is it enough for you to name call, put down, talk shit or trash, criticize, or tear down what you envy?  To vandalize it so that looking at it doesn't seem to hurt as much?

Do you believe that is the best that you can do? Who told you that lie and what makes you still buy it?

Is it that you feel you deserve things without having to put in the work or work for your ups? 

Are you willing to leave the comfort of being a fetus (being fed without asking, being warm without working at it, being comfortable without having to pay for it) in order to be born?

Is it that you think other people are just "lucky" - that is, they don't have to work for it - and it is not fair that you aren't as lucky?
What have you learned about cause and effect? What do you know about reaping what you sow?

How badly do you want it? How strongly do you desire it? Can you picture it? What are the feelings in your body when you imagine it?

Are you willing to look at your fears and limiting beliefs? 

What people, places, things, ideas, beliefs, experiences, and resources do you have to overcome your fears?

Have you given up? What will it take to hope and believe again?

The first step is to decide. Then write it down. Tell me all about your dream and desire. Be vivid and specific. Keep going and include lots of details. Stretch your imagination. Be honest and true. Picture it. Describe it. Feel it. Smell and sense it. Can you feel it? What does it feel like? Do you realize it is already yours? It's okay to believe. It's safe to trust. What you want wants you. Search your heart. You know it's true. I dare you.