Talking About It

Feeling accepted by caregivers, having easy communication, and feeling accepted by and assertive with peers may help children "talk through" and cognitively process feelings aroused by experiencing, witnessing or hearing about violence, thus reducing symptoms of depression and anxiety. 

However, such coping resources may not be adequate to affect aggressive behavior. 

Caregiver's regulation of anger was the only protective factor for children's aggressive behavior.

Kliewer, W., Cunningham, J.N., Diehl, R., Parrish, K.A., Walker, J.M., Atiyeh, C., Neace, B., Duncan, L., Taylor, K. & Mejia, R. (2004). Violence Exposure and Adjustment in Inner-City Youth: Child and Caregiver Emotion Regulation Skill, Caregiver-Child Relationship Quality, and Neighborhood Cohesion as Protective Factor. Journal of Clinical Child & Adolescent Psychology, 33(3), 477-487. 

Talking about it helps, no matter how hard it can be - it keeps the sad and scary feelings from sticking around forever.

But talking about it may not be enough to manage or contain a child's out-of-control behavior.

How a parent manages their own anger seems to make a difference.  We learn by example.