Getting it done.

I used to write weekly blog posts.  Now I don't even post monthly.  I am juggling so much.  My writing has focused on dissertation revisions.  Yesterday, I got the thumbs up from my advisor:

Alex, 

I reviewed your revised dissertation and I'm prepared to sign off on it.  Your revision represents a major revision in line with the suggestions of the committee.  It is now much improved, more cohesive and focused.  I recognize that this was a lot of work. Very nice job. Congratulations.

I have been waiting for this day my whole life.  It is here and I celebrate.  

Thank you, Yesus, and family & friends.

I love you mom.

Trauma, Silence, Disclosure & Health

"Upheavals that were kept secret were more likely to result in health problems than those that could be spoken about more openly."

"Individuals who were victims of violence and who had kept this experience silent were significantly more likely to have adverse health effects than those who openly talked with others."

"Having any type of traumatic experience is associated with elevated illness rates; having any trauma and not talking about it further elevates the risk."

"Keeping a trauma secret from an intact social network is more unhealthy than not having a social network to begin with."

Pennebaker & Chung, 2007

I love science

“The thing that differentiates scientists is purely an artistic ability to discern what is a good idea, what is beautiful idea, what is worth spending time on, and most importantly what is a problem sufficiently interesting yet sufficiently difficult that hasn’t been solved but the time for solving it has come now.”

Savas Dimopolous

Theoretical Particle Physicist

Stanford University

Right Here, Right Now

On Friday, May 23, 2014, I passed my dissertation oral defense, with revisions (this means I gotta address the changes recommended by my committee before submitting the final draft of the dissertation to UCLA and the Library).

UCLA Luskin School of Public Affairs graduation program, June 2014

I was having a panic attack right before the defense so I reached out to a good friend and actor - he offered emotional support and a host of tips to cope with performance anxiety. It helped a lot.  Thank you, Randy, my Mexican-American Richard Gere.

Randy Vasquez at LA premier of movie, "Volando Bajo"

After passing the defense, I could not stop smiling.  I walked the streets near the beach and on the beach all night.  I know I appeared odd by the looks I got from strangers but I did not care because the defense was over, for good.

View of Santa Monica pier while laying on the beach and feeling fistfuls of sand fall through my fingers

On Friday, June 13, 2014, I participated in graduation.  It was a magical day. Truly.

My daughter in the victory stance

Me in my electric blue robe

That's why I do it

I'm officially smarter today

On Thursday, June 19, 2014, I flew to Hawaii to celebrate with my daughter.  It was a magical trip.  Truly.  "Mom, you are so annoying," said my daughter on the third day.  I deserved it.  I had been gushing non-stop :)  I was relentlessly joyful.

Yes, this happened and it was that beautiful

I am middle aged and the next 45 years of my life feel bright with hope.

I am working six days a week for the next four weeks.  Thereafter, I will juggle part-time jobs, including teaching grad school courses in social work, until I secure a tenure-track Assistant Professor position somewhere.  Or God's plans will take me in another direction.  I'm open.

I attended some workshops on documentary film making so I'm planning to write a research and development proposal for a documentary about the life, art, trauma and resilience of one of my mentors.  Normally guarded, he has readily given me the green light to proceed.

I'm in the moment and I'm smiling.

Me happy

Integrating Evidence and Clinical Judgment

--> It is not ethical or compassionate for us, as service providers, to shape programs by our intentions when we lack evidence for our practice decisions (Rubin & Bellamy, 2012).

The Complexity of Resilience

Since resilience may occur in at least one domain (say, academic, social, emotional), it is possible for a child to be resilient and still suffer from the residual effects of trauma.

Evidence suggests that adolescents identified as resilient scored high on anxiety and depression scales and urban adolescents in particular scored high on emotional distress scales despite showing intellectual and social competence.

Whether social adaptation, operationalized in terms of success in meeting societal expectations of behavior, exacts an emotional toll or fails to ameliorate psychological dysfunction resulting from the experience of adversity is not clear.

Researchers have described resilience as a process that helps youth to mend, albeit with a cracked shell.

(Resnick & Taliaferro, 2011; Baum, 2004; Howard, 1996; Hunter, 2001; Howard, 1996)

Letting Go

Ex-Wife:  I'm glad I chose to love you, even though it broke my heart.  It's all good. Take care.

Ex-Husband:  Yes. That makes two of us.